I am going to be honest, sometimes I write things, or say things just to hear people say: “wow I never thought of that” “you are smart” “I love reading what you write”, and probably the most unfortunate concept is that it’s never enough. But on an even more honest level, sometimes I say things that I think people want to hear. I know that I am going to be better heard or acclaimed for what I have to say if it caresses their ears. Is everything that I write original? Yes, but the ideas aren’t, I mean I obviously had the thought triggered somewhere and somehow.
It’s like this is infused in our blood though. We feel this need to sell ourselves to everyone around us, we can’t be ourselves we are always working with all that is within us to be someone or something else. The irony of it is that this is not just an individual problem, any group, team, organization, business, and/or church that we are a part of does the same thing. Obviously my main pet peeve is with the church. I was just surfing the net and ran across an author who wrote a book. His name and book title will not be mentioned just in case anyone actually might know him. Essentially his ideas can be summed up by two words – church marketing. Anyone else have a problem with this?
So without absolutely landblasting this poor fellow I will try to be civil. We, as the church have two options. Relevance and creativity. In relevance we follow culture, like an awkward younger brother, mimicking it’s every move and trying to gain the attention of their elder. We see big lights, so we use big lights, we see catchy slogan phrases, so we use catchy slogan phrases (i.e. got milk, got Jesus), and in just about any other category we are always far to gauche to actually be intellectual enough, original enough, or even daring enough to make something up on our own. It is in relevance that we become completely enthralled with the world around us. We are driven by what they want to hear, see, feel and do. Our services are no longer theologically driven to the believer and the language is all of the sudden in need of being filtered by some kind of cultural acceptability forum made up of guys who spend more time on their hair then they have studying theology. Even more so, it reeks of insecurity, as if what we could offer to you is only going to be appealing if I use the things that you like. On top of all of that, it never has appeared to me that Jesus was concerned at all with selling his message. I mean where should we start? Anger in the temple, rebuking the religious system, surrounding himself with the vile sinners of his time, not exactly what his culture wanted to hear, right?
Our other option is creativity. Now, far be it from me to claim being any kind of a source on creativity. However, the church has neither been, and in many cases even tried to be creative. Many of us are stuck repeating styles, structures, and programs that were invented in the 80’s. Have we been creative…well we put drums on the stage…does that count? However, if we believe that within us lies the true Spirit of the Living God, if we are truly made in His image, and He, being the Great Creator, places within us this same desire and knack for creating, then how have we become so adhesive to our culture? There was a time when the church was the hotbed for all creativity, and they were leading the pack, as they should be. It is our theology, our belief that should be driving our creativity and not the other way around. And whether we like it or not, our popularity and our “sellability” will continue to decrease, and it’s not our job to change that. Because, unfortunately, there is very little that is culturally acceptable about the message of Jesus. It’s scandalous. Radical. Full of gaps. A stumbling block. But to those that have believed, it’s redemptive, colorful, and what we’ve devoted our lives to.
So if by marketing he meant: loving others like Jesus did instead of what we have actually lived out as following Jesus, then maybe he should change his title.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Pimp Pastors
I am reminded of the great failures and triumphs accumulated by the people of Israel and Judah after the reign of King Saul. Many were the failures, that God himself compared the people of Israel to the whore found in the book of Hosea. However the triumphs can, a majority of the time, be traced to the character and Godliness of the king in reign. Whether we like it or not, leadership not only fuels but many times establishes poor ideals, morals, and can create a ritualistic establishment that is far more challenging to change than it is to overturn.
The irony of the topic is this. We as the church have realized many of our failures. We have seen our lack of intimacy, and the authenticity that is as solid as chalk dust. However, we have chosen to neither change nor overturn. Instead our usual path of choice is to amend. We see that there is no intimacy, so we add small groups. We see deception and hypocrisy so we teach harder, pray harder, and firmly believe that if we only created the right environment for people to experience the grace of Jesus, the believers in our churches would be confessing their deepest sins in an instant. However, the intimacy, authenticity, and faith found in churches will always be proportional to how much the leadership of the given church values those concepts.
Therefore, I firmly believe that the challenge of stopping the whoring lies directly on the shoulders of those leading our churches. We know the scriptures, we know how it was supposed to be, but we have allowed ourselves to drown in the greatness of the tradition that we have only fueled.
1. Pastors should move away from Cherry St.
If we are honest with ourselves. we, as pastors, will see in our own lives, the very same trends that so filthily mark the believers in our congregations. Our small groups are as deep as our bathtubs, our messages are more creative and as theatrical as the blue man group, and the majority of us firmly believe that the rest of the world needs what we have to say.
In pastoring, there is very little time to listen to others, learn from others, because all of our time is spent trying to figure out the smoothest words to use in place of sin, judgment etc. We take very little time to experience our own intimacy because we are all laying in hospital beds from the stress that is brought from worrying about the lack of intimacy in “our” congregations. If we ever want our congregations to change, move, or get away from the prostitution corners, we can’t find ourselves there either. Our own lives must become our very first priority in this transformation. I am not questioning the integrity or spirituality of many pastors, but easy is the path from shepherding our spirituality to shepherding their spirituality.
2. Programmed Theology should stop feeling so good.
For some reason many believers have found comfort in the predictability of the program (what a terrible term for Sunday morning) that we offer (another bad term) on Sunday mornings. I personally believe it is about as comfortable as the pews that we sit in. We have completely lost our mission as the church. Exposition, topics, worship songs/style begin to matter much less when we as the church are urgent to share the message of Jesus the way the apostles were after the ascencion.
If intimacy and strengthening of faith is the purpose of the meeting of the church (agree?) then we must reevaluate why we do EVERYTHING. Why do we preach for so long, or sing so many songs, or have testimonies, allow time for prayer…because anything that is not filtered through our purposes for the church is merely part of another bad system that can continue to propel us away from biblical ecclesiology. And as long as Pastors continue to be solely responsible for what occurs at our meetings, there will be no ownership of the mission of the church. Once evaluated, we must change. It will be painful, there will be losses, and we may have to get second jobs, but there is no greater joy than purchasing back the whore from her previous owners. Hosea made it his mission, may we do the same.
What am I saying with all of this? Maybe the problem with the church isn’t the church, but those that are leading the church. Maybe what we need is less God-figures filling our pulpits and standing behind guitars masquerading as the prominent source of knowledge on God, and more spirit-led teams of believers understanding the roles in leading the church forward in it’s true purpose.
As per a request on my previous note, I have answered with my thoughts on how I believe that the church can stop whoring. My thoughts are not very clear or full today, so my apologies.
The irony of the topic is this. We as the church have realized many of our failures. We have seen our lack of intimacy, and the authenticity that is as solid as chalk dust. However, we have chosen to neither change nor overturn. Instead our usual path of choice is to amend. We see that there is no intimacy, so we add small groups. We see deception and hypocrisy so we teach harder, pray harder, and firmly believe that if we only created the right environment for people to experience the grace of Jesus, the believers in our churches would be confessing their deepest sins in an instant. However, the intimacy, authenticity, and faith found in churches will always be proportional to how much the leadership of the given church values those concepts.
Therefore, I firmly believe that the challenge of stopping the whoring lies directly on the shoulders of those leading our churches. We know the scriptures, we know how it was supposed to be, but we have allowed ourselves to drown in the greatness of the tradition that we have only fueled.
1. Pastors should move away from Cherry St.
If we are honest with ourselves. we, as pastors, will see in our own lives, the very same trends that so filthily mark the believers in our congregations. Our small groups are as deep as our bathtubs, our messages are more creative and as theatrical as the blue man group, and the majority of us firmly believe that the rest of the world needs what we have to say.
In pastoring, there is very little time to listen to others, learn from others, because all of our time is spent trying to figure out the smoothest words to use in place of sin, judgment etc. We take very little time to experience our own intimacy because we are all laying in hospital beds from the stress that is brought from worrying about the lack of intimacy in “our” congregations. If we ever want our congregations to change, move, or get away from the prostitution corners, we can’t find ourselves there either. Our own lives must become our very first priority in this transformation. I am not questioning the integrity or spirituality of many pastors, but easy is the path from shepherding our spirituality to shepherding their spirituality.
2. Programmed Theology should stop feeling so good.
For some reason many believers have found comfort in the predictability of the program (what a terrible term for Sunday morning) that we offer (another bad term) on Sunday mornings. I personally believe it is about as comfortable as the pews that we sit in. We have completely lost our mission as the church. Exposition, topics, worship songs/style begin to matter much less when we as the church are urgent to share the message of Jesus the way the apostles were after the ascencion.
If intimacy and strengthening of faith is the purpose of the meeting of the church (agree?) then we must reevaluate why we do EVERYTHING. Why do we preach for so long, or sing so many songs, or have testimonies, allow time for prayer…because anything that is not filtered through our purposes for the church is merely part of another bad system that can continue to propel us away from biblical ecclesiology. And as long as Pastors continue to be solely responsible for what occurs at our meetings, there will be no ownership of the mission of the church. Once evaluated, we must change. It will be painful, there will be losses, and we may have to get second jobs, but there is no greater joy than purchasing back the whore from her previous owners. Hosea made it his mission, may we do the same.
What am I saying with all of this? Maybe the problem with the church isn’t the church, but those that are leading the church. Maybe what we need is less God-figures filling our pulpits and standing behind guitars masquerading as the prominent source of knowledge on God, and more spirit-led teams of believers understanding the roles in leading the church forward in it’s true purpose.
As per a request on my previous note, I have answered with my thoughts on how I believe that the church can stop whoring. My thoughts are not very clear or full today, so my apologies.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Gangs for Evangelism
Understand the following comments may be stronger than the author's true feelings. We must explore all of these options so as to come to a balanced theology.
As I have previously mentioned, I lived in Mexico for 10 years. They were exciting days of tamales, invisible friends, and saving the world. However around the time that I was about 11 years old, I had been invited to join a gang. Now I didn’t really have any desire to join a gang, but the pressure from my friends was like a vice grip I couldn’t get out of. The name of the gang was “Los Vatos”, and they had offensively signed and vandalized just about every wall in our neighborhood. There were a few stipulations to joining this gang. You had to steal something from someone’s front yard (all of them were fenced in), and you had to fight a member of the gang. Now, understanding my disinterest in this gang, the whole fighting thing made it less appealing. I mean I had joined quite a few other things in my life, choirs, churches, swimming lessons, and never was I compelled to fight anyone for membership. Much less would I fight someone to join a group I had no desire joining. They ended up setting up a fight time for me, but I bailed, never joined the gang, and never heard from them again.
Sometimes I think this is what evangelism looks like to unbelievers. The church is presented as this prestigious group of people who have more than likely vandalized and isolated themselves from the community surrounding them. They have offensively signed just about every corner of their cities, yet they live under the assumption that people want what they offer. We invite people to services, we set up meetings for them, when in all reality before they get to know Jesus they probably have no desire to join a church. Our urgent desire to corral unbelievers into our churches comes with the assumption that only this church will offer what you need. And so we send out Christians, foaming at the mouth, in hopes of capturing and binding a weaker, lesser unbeliever and adding them to our Kingdom (yeah, capital K…it’s that important).
Now, I say all of this to talk about the church, and not evangelism. When we take an honest look at how the New Testament church gathered, there was very little in common with what we do. They had no building, no special services, more involvement, and genuine community. There are two assumptions that I am living under in regards to the NT church.
1. They understood intimate community.
Each of these believers recognized that because of the constant potential for persecution, it was necessary that they encourage, and spur one another on. There was no “free trial period” for Christianity, in or out, those were your options. And if you were in you knew that there was no one else that would support you in your faith pursuit.
2. Belief drove them.
There was nothing more important to the NT church than their belief in the teachings, message, and promises of Jesus. Because they believed this as truth, they saw the others that surrounded them as deceived, and took it upon themselves to present truth in whatever fashion necessary. There are few if any “messages/sermons/speeches” recorded in the scriptures given to a group of believers. The majority of the recorded messages or sermons are to groups of unbelievers. And because their belief in the reality of Jesus’ message drove them, they would go to any lengths to insure that all those around them heard and understood the hope of Jesus. Now I am not proposing that we begin to preach on the street corners, God knows we have tried that, however, the church activity must be re-evaluated.
We have substituted intimacy for the superficial, we have replaced teaching as encouragement for preaching at our congregations, and we have chosen program over prayer. Do I love the church? Most certainly, but our meetings have become dry lectures from mild-mannered pastors, and impeccable worship from phenomenal musicians. No lives are shared, there is no peer-to-peer encouragement, and the very idea of having to create small groups would be absurd to the New Testament believers. The primary message of the church has become “be spiritual” and we are more concerned with the theatrical elements than with any kind of constant transformation. We’ve been doing it wrong for centuries and there appears to be no urgency to change.
What am I saying with all of this? Maybe the church isn’t a place for unbelievers, even if we had it all together.
As I have previously mentioned, I lived in Mexico for 10 years. They were exciting days of tamales, invisible friends, and saving the world. However around the time that I was about 11 years old, I had been invited to join a gang. Now I didn’t really have any desire to join a gang, but the pressure from my friends was like a vice grip I couldn’t get out of. The name of the gang was “Los Vatos”, and they had offensively signed and vandalized just about every wall in our neighborhood. There were a few stipulations to joining this gang. You had to steal something from someone’s front yard (all of them were fenced in), and you had to fight a member of the gang. Now, understanding my disinterest in this gang, the whole fighting thing made it less appealing. I mean I had joined quite a few other things in my life, choirs, churches, swimming lessons, and never was I compelled to fight anyone for membership. Much less would I fight someone to join a group I had no desire joining. They ended up setting up a fight time for me, but I bailed, never joined the gang, and never heard from them again.
Sometimes I think this is what evangelism looks like to unbelievers. The church is presented as this prestigious group of people who have more than likely vandalized and isolated themselves from the community surrounding them. They have offensively signed just about every corner of their cities, yet they live under the assumption that people want what they offer. We invite people to services, we set up meetings for them, when in all reality before they get to know Jesus they probably have no desire to join a church. Our urgent desire to corral unbelievers into our churches comes with the assumption that only this church will offer what you need. And so we send out Christians, foaming at the mouth, in hopes of capturing and binding a weaker, lesser unbeliever and adding them to our Kingdom (yeah, capital K…it’s that important).
Now, I say all of this to talk about the church, and not evangelism. When we take an honest look at how the New Testament church gathered, there was very little in common with what we do. They had no building, no special services, more involvement, and genuine community. There are two assumptions that I am living under in regards to the NT church.
1. They understood intimate community.
Each of these believers recognized that because of the constant potential for persecution, it was necessary that they encourage, and spur one another on. There was no “free trial period” for Christianity, in or out, those were your options. And if you were in you knew that there was no one else that would support you in your faith pursuit.
2. Belief drove them.
There was nothing more important to the NT church than their belief in the teachings, message, and promises of Jesus. Because they believed this as truth, they saw the others that surrounded them as deceived, and took it upon themselves to present truth in whatever fashion necessary. There are few if any “messages/sermons/speeches” recorded in the scriptures given to a group of believers. The majority of the recorded messages or sermons are to groups of unbelievers. And because their belief in the reality of Jesus’ message drove them, they would go to any lengths to insure that all those around them heard and understood the hope of Jesus. Now I am not proposing that we begin to preach on the street corners, God knows we have tried that, however, the church activity must be re-evaluated.
We have substituted intimacy for the superficial, we have replaced teaching as encouragement for preaching at our congregations, and we have chosen program over prayer. Do I love the church? Most certainly, but our meetings have become dry lectures from mild-mannered pastors, and impeccable worship from phenomenal musicians. No lives are shared, there is no peer-to-peer encouragement, and the very idea of having to create small groups would be absurd to the New Testament believers. The primary message of the church has become “be spiritual” and we are more concerned with the theatrical elements than with any kind of constant transformation. We’ve been doing it wrong for centuries and there appears to be no urgency to change.
What am I saying with all of this? Maybe the church isn’t a place for unbelievers, even if we had it all together.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Dance-move Prayers
When I was in kindergarten, in a school in Mexico, the teacher asked if any of us had tucked away any dance moves in our repertoire of creative abilities. For what reason, I can’t seem to remember and really wish I could since it appears to be a ridiculous question for a group of K5-ers. Anyways, I had seen some “rock-stars” do this move where they would hold one arm out horizontally and the other one would swing round and round strumming the guitar. I was convinced that this was a well-respected dance move and since I was the American in the class I would have the best dance move to offer. Once I completed this intricate movement with all 5 years of me, I decided that I should show this to as many people as I could. I showed parents, friends, neighbors and anyone that would stop for a few seconds to be amused by me. I was convinced that what I was offering was the best of the best, and would not have offered it to anyone had I not have felt that way.
All of us have had these moments. Moments where we need to be accepted, validated, told “well-done” or “nice dance move”, because deep within all of us there is this driving need to be of importance. While this is an inseparable quality of humanity, it can truly become a mold in spirituality, festering until a perfect fusion of insecurity and arrogance has been achieved. I noticed it this morning at a prayer meeting. There were 14 of us sitting in a circle. We read a Psalm and decided to pray for an upcoming vision/planning weekend. I sat in my chair for 35 minutes while others delivered incredible orations of the unfailing grace and mercy of God. I just couldn’t seem to put the right words together, the ones that would really bring the “mmm’s” and “ah’s”, and if I was going to pray, I was going to bring the best of the best. Immediately I shrunk down to my 5 year old self again awkwardly flailing my best dance move in front of the pastoral staff at Grace Pointe.
The issue is this: there is a culture of insecure arrogance that is rotting the validation that we are given through our relationship with Jesus. We are insecure in that we are attempting to base all of our confidence in our actions, and we firmly believe that we aren’t going to be able to pray right, worship right, and love right. We are arrogant in that the very sacrifice that we have brought to Jesus has become deluded by the deceptive pestilence of self-security. And the very fact that the phrase “praying correctly” has raised merit enough for articles to be written, is one of the most heretical ideas in evangelicalism. In prayer, I come in organic relationship to Jesus. And in this relationship I feel secure, like he has what’s best. With Jesus I feel like a kid again. Holding Jesus’ hand frees me to disclose those things that I hold so closely to my heart. I can do my dance move, I can pray “incorrectly” and he doesn’t really care. Because the cornerstone of our faith is that we did not deserve to be loved, yet he loves us anyway.
So maybe prayer is less asking/receiving, maybe it is less about words, and more about the communion and love of Jesus flooding my heart and mind reminding me, though I bring nothing of worth, to Him, I am worth everything. For in prayer, I can’t help but to match the rhythm of grace in my own life. In the very act I have no choice but to proclaim my impotence and utter destruction apart from the love and grace found in Jesus. And each time his grace rushes over me like a refreshing breeze, I’m reminded that there is no sweeter dwelling. May I never pester anyone with my “dance-move prayers”, but strictly come with the purpose of attuning myself to Jesus.
All of us have had these moments. Moments where we need to be accepted, validated, told “well-done” or “nice dance move”, because deep within all of us there is this driving need to be of importance. While this is an inseparable quality of humanity, it can truly become a mold in spirituality, festering until a perfect fusion of insecurity and arrogance has been achieved. I noticed it this morning at a prayer meeting. There were 14 of us sitting in a circle. We read a Psalm and decided to pray for an upcoming vision/planning weekend. I sat in my chair for 35 minutes while others delivered incredible orations of the unfailing grace and mercy of God. I just couldn’t seem to put the right words together, the ones that would really bring the “mmm’s” and “ah’s”, and if I was going to pray, I was going to bring the best of the best. Immediately I shrunk down to my 5 year old self again awkwardly flailing my best dance move in front of the pastoral staff at Grace Pointe.
The issue is this: there is a culture of insecure arrogance that is rotting the validation that we are given through our relationship with Jesus. We are insecure in that we are attempting to base all of our confidence in our actions, and we firmly believe that we aren’t going to be able to pray right, worship right, and love right. We are arrogant in that the very sacrifice that we have brought to Jesus has become deluded by the deceptive pestilence of self-security. And the very fact that the phrase “praying correctly” has raised merit enough for articles to be written, is one of the most heretical ideas in evangelicalism. In prayer, I come in organic relationship to Jesus. And in this relationship I feel secure, like he has what’s best. With Jesus I feel like a kid again. Holding Jesus’ hand frees me to disclose those things that I hold so closely to my heart. I can do my dance move, I can pray “incorrectly” and he doesn’t really care. Because the cornerstone of our faith is that we did not deserve to be loved, yet he loves us anyway.
So maybe prayer is less asking/receiving, maybe it is less about words, and more about the communion and love of Jesus flooding my heart and mind reminding me, though I bring nothing of worth, to Him, I am worth everything. For in prayer, I can’t help but to match the rhythm of grace in my own life. In the very act I have no choice but to proclaim my impotence and utter destruction apart from the love and grace found in Jesus. And each time his grace rushes over me like a refreshing breeze, I’m reminded that there is no sweeter dwelling. May I never pester anyone with my “dance-move prayers”, but strictly come with the purpose of attuning myself to Jesus.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A Poem
Wordless faceless souls
Crying out from the very same ground that wrecked her life of pure satisfaction
Upholding virtue, truth and morality is a far cry
From the ditches in which she finds herself digging for pleasure.
Amidst the digging,
Treasures may lie hidden
In the heaps of rubble seared by hopeless tears.
Yet to uncover requires more digging.
A solid word can’t be found
Without trickery and deception following closely behind.
“They don’t love you” I try to explain
Nonetheless sex blinds rationale
Something that may release the guilty stains and chains
Linked and dirtied by money, gossip, and so-called friends.
Yet ecstasy and bliss are mere fairy-tales
Inspired by the bruised and broken relationships that promised forever
A path exists, littered by the remnants of the crushing blows
That set her up for failure at best.
It can’t be seen
If it could, she wouldn’t follow.
Crying out from the very same ground that wrecked her life of pure satisfaction
Upholding virtue, truth and morality is a far cry
From the ditches in which she finds herself digging for pleasure.
Amidst the digging,
Treasures may lie hidden
In the heaps of rubble seared by hopeless tears.
Yet to uncover requires more digging.
A solid word can’t be found
Without trickery and deception following closely behind.
“They don’t love you” I try to explain
Nonetheless sex blinds rationale
Something that may release the guilty stains and chains
Linked and dirtied by money, gossip, and so-called friends.
Yet ecstasy and bliss are mere fairy-tales
Inspired by the bruised and broken relationships that promised forever
A path exists, littered by the remnants of the crushing blows
That set her up for failure at best.
It can’t be seen
If it could, she wouldn’t follow.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Disassociation
Have you ever joined something that you regretted weeks later? I have done this on numerous occasions, generally because I can't say "no". At Moody every floor of guys has a "sister floor" of girls. I was asked to lead worship for a "brother-sister" worship time that we would have each week. Harmless right? All of the guys would head over with me, I'd sing some pretty songs about Jesus and be on my way. Wrong. It wouldn't have been bad had there been other guys there, but more often than not, the guys in our group were always outnumbered by the rigid, skirt-wearing, turtle-neck toting Moody girls (sarcasm). And so here I am, volunteering to spiritually entertain this group of Christians that doesn't know the first thing about the world that surrounds them. It wasn't long till I was googling "excuses" to try to get out of this mess.
However as much as I was frustrated with the situation, I can never say that I was ashamed of the picture of "worship" that that group was presenting. It seems like the majority of the things that we disassociate from, we do so for convenience sake. Stop a sport because it demands time, stop an instrument because we won't succeed, but rarely is there disassociation because of an improper knowledge or interpretation of the given subject. I say all of that to say this, I am disassociating from Christianity. And not the Christianity that the Bible teaches, but the Christianity that has clogged the arteries of the body of Christ. The Christianity that is pinching the nerves of grace and love making sure that we don't allow too much of it to escape. The Christianity that finds it more important to judge the sinful, the ones on welfare, or gay-marriage, to angrily dismiss politics as "ruining our country", than to show love to the poor, sick, and equally sinful as them. I am disassociating.
Jenny and I sat down to dinner with a couple last night. The girl was a social worker in Chicago. She's seen some things. The guy was in a construction management position in the city. They aren't married, but living together, and both come from Christian homes...one loving, one not. The girl was our subject of interest, she had mentioned that she had a lot of questions. Although she could only remember the ones about dinosaurs, we began dealing with issues that carried more emotional weight than words can do justice. Apparently her cheating, lying, abusive father was a Christian, and considered himself the source of all things Christian. He told her that she couldn't think homosexuality was okay and be a Christian. He has been through 5 wives, and always cheats. When using the word "freaking" he told her he didn't want to be around such vulgarity.
Apparently, our disassociation from immorality is what defines a Christian. It appears that as long as we, as Christians, speak out strong enough against cultural issues, point out sin at any opportunity, and provide ample biblical proof that each immoral topic is sin, we have fulfilled our destiny as Christians. However, this is a far cry from the message that Jesus preached. Culture and immorality didn't pay in the time of Jesus. Religious leaders and their terrible motives is what paid during the time of Jesus, and from within the "immoral" (as if this were some exclusive group) is where Jesus found his friends. Yes friends. Not evangelistic projects, or possible converts, friends. For us to ever actually reach out to the hurting people that are around us, they must not feel like projects, converts, sinners, cultural viruses, or anything else. For us to reach them, they must feel like friends. I apologized to the girl, for her father who didn't know better, for Jesus, since I think he would have apologized too, and for every other Christian that is tired of being painted with the same stroke as all other Christians. We chatted the rest of the evening, and decided we would hang out at a later time, as friends. And whether we like it or not, Christians don't do that. So I am disassociating.
However as much as I was frustrated with the situation, I can never say that I was ashamed of the picture of "worship" that that group was presenting. It seems like the majority of the things that we disassociate from, we do so for convenience sake. Stop a sport because it demands time, stop an instrument because we won't succeed, but rarely is there disassociation because of an improper knowledge or interpretation of the given subject. I say all of that to say this, I am disassociating from Christianity. And not the Christianity that the Bible teaches, but the Christianity that has clogged the arteries of the body of Christ. The Christianity that is pinching the nerves of grace and love making sure that we don't allow too much of it to escape. The Christianity that finds it more important to judge the sinful, the ones on welfare, or gay-marriage, to angrily dismiss politics as "ruining our country", than to show love to the poor, sick, and equally sinful as them. I am disassociating.
Jenny and I sat down to dinner with a couple last night. The girl was a social worker in Chicago. She's seen some things. The guy was in a construction management position in the city. They aren't married, but living together, and both come from Christian homes...one loving, one not. The girl was our subject of interest, she had mentioned that she had a lot of questions. Although she could only remember the ones about dinosaurs, we began dealing with issues that carried more emotional weight than words can do justice. Apparently her cheating, lying, abusive father was a Christian, and considered himself the source of all things Christian. He told her that she couldn't think homosexuality was okay and be a Christian. He has been through 5 wives, and always cheats. When using the word "freaking" he told her he didn't want to be around such vulgarity.
Apparently, our disassociation from immorality is what defines a Christian. It appears that as long as we, as Christians, speak out strong enough against cultural issues, point out sin at any opportunity, and provide ample biblical proof that each immoral topic is sin, we have fulfilled our destiny as Christians. However, this is a far cry from the message that Jesus preached. Culture and immorality didn't pay in the time of Jesus. Religious leaders and their terrible motives is what paid during the time of Jesus, and from within the "immoral" (as if this were some exclusive group) is where Jesus found his friends. Yes friends. Not evangelistic projects, or possible converts, friends. For us to ever actually reach out to the hurting people that are around us, they must not feel like projects, converts, sinners, cultural viruses, or anything else. For us to reach them, they must feel like friends. I apologized to the girl, for her father who didn't know better, for Jesus, since I think he would have apologized too, and for every other Christian that is tired of being painted with the same stroke as all other Christians. We chatted the rest of the evening, and decided we would hang out at a later time, as friends. And whether we like it or not, Christians don't do that. So I am disassociating.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Colombia Trip - Final Day
What is it that we humans fear with intimacy? Is it the risk or is it the vulnerability itself that we fear. I know that I certainly am embarrassed of myself at times, not necessarily confident, not necessarily sure of who I am or where I should be going. However, if it is through this one-to-one validation that we inject security and certainty into the hearts of those around us, how is it that we find so many people with so many broken relationships. And more so, people that want nothing to do with relationships. Because, I firmly believe that God created each of us with a profound desire within the depths of our DNA to be loved by HIM. Since sin crept in this desire has been transformed into a desire to be liked, accepted, beautiful, and popular. There are many of my generation that are coming to this same conclusion, but certainly not enough. I mean I know that I am always searching for approval, affirmation, and someone else to brag about me.
Ultimately then, one could say that our fear of intimacy with one another, is derived directly from our fear of intimacy with God. I like to think that I am fully open with God, but there is a lot that I keep from Him. I tell Him just enough so that he can keep tabs on my life, take control when necessary, and be there with a spade and a bag for when I screw up. Aside from that, I keep Him at an arms length, just in case there is something else. I know that God is supposed to be my “Dad”, the dad with no screw-ups, no faults, always caring, but what if I feel like I had that dad already? I have no complaints of the father that I have so how is God supposed to sweep in and all of the sudden be my father. There was always comfort in knowing that I had a really good father, but he was human. And one day I would be able to walk out, make my own choices, mistakes, and failures, and if I ever wanted to I could always hide it from Him. Even more, my dad could give me solid advice, but he could never facilitate change in me, he couldn’t orchestrate events so as to make things happen. If I disclose my soul to God, I am giving Him license to do whatever he deems best in the situation. I feel like I can’t talk to God without handing over situations to Him. If I genuinely ask Him what he thinks about Jenny and I going to the mission field, I fear he will send me. If I actually tell Him I trust Him with my marriage, what will he take me through? And so through all of this I am in some kind of trance that I control things. I mean I know that God loves me, but within the idea of intimacy there is a need for trust…and maybe this is what I fear.
I always heard the song Jesus loves me and felt like it was full of narcissism. I mean honestly…an entire song about how Jesus loves me…I am bad enough at loving him, why should I waste time singing about how He loves me. But it hit me the other day that, it is because he loves me that I can disclose these things. Sure, without Jesus, God feels enormous, controlling, judgmental, but he is not that way. And God did not orchestrate history so that he would be communicated that way, he actually did the complete opposite. He gives his people hundreds of chances, and then, when you think they are all up, he launched Jesus onto the scene. With Jesus I feel secure, like he has what’s best. With Jesus I feel like a kid again. Holding Jesus’ hand frees me to disclose those things that I hold so closely to my heart. And the scariest thing is that the key to my spiritual success is that Jesus loves me, this I know. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.
I guess we all fear this intimacy to some extent. While my fear is more towards the God who created intimacy. Robbie told us today about the many conversations he has had with is father. Each time that he wants to talk about what he’s learning about being a man, needing his father, and the love that he still has for his over-worked and under-loving father, his dad starts in on some catholic radio program he heard, changing the topic entirely. Stories like that make me cringe. I want everyone to feel genuine fatherly love. Like the love I felt from my dad, I’m just a little scared of God’s still.
Ultimately then, one could say that our fear of intimacy with one another, is derived directly from our fear of intimacy with God. I like to think that I am fully open with God, but there is a lot that I keep from Him. I tell Him just enough so that he can keep tabs on my life, take control when necessary, and be there with a spade and a bag for when I screw up. Aside from that, I keep Him at an arms length, just in case there is something else. I know that God is supposed to be my “Dad”, the dad with no screw-ups, no faults, always caring, but what if I feel like I had that dad already? I have no complaints of the father that I have so how is God supposed to sweep in and all of the sudden be my father. There was always comfort in knowing that I had a really good father, but he was human. And one day I would be able to walk out, make my own choices, mistakes, and failures, and if I ever wanted to I could always hide it from Him. Even more, my dad could give me solid advice, but he could never facilitate change in me, he couldn’t orchestrate events so as to make things happen. If I disclose my soul to God, I am giving Him license to do whatever he deems best in the situation. I feel like I can’t talk to God without handing over situations to Him. If I genuinely ask Him what he thinks about Jenny and I going to the mission field, I fear he will send me. If I actually tell Him I trust Him with my marriage, what will he take me through? And so through all of this I am in some kind of trance that I control things. I mean I know that God loves me, but within the idea of intimacy there is a need for trust…and maybe this is what I fear.
I always heard the song Jesus loves me and felt like it was full of narcissism. I mean honestly…an entire song about how Jesus loves me…I am bad enough at loving him, why should I waste time singing about how He loves me. But it hit me the other day that, it is because he loves me that I can disclose these things. Sure, without Jesus, God feels enormous, controlling, judgmental, but he is not that way. And God did not orchestrate history so that he would be communicated that way, he actually did the complete opposite. He gives his people hundreds of chances, and then, when you think they are all up, he launched Jesus onto the scene. With Jesus I feel secure, like he has what’s best. With Jesus I feel like a kid again. Holding Jesus’ hand frees me to disclose those things that I hold so closely to my heart. And the scariest thing is that the key to my spiritual success is that Jesus loves me, this I know. Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.
I guess we all fear this intimacy to some extent. While my fear is more towards the God who created intimacy. Robbie told us today about the many conversations he has had with is father. Each time that he wants to talk about what he’s learning about being a man, needing his father, and the love that he still has for his over-worked and under-loving father, his dad starts in on some catholic radio program he heard, changing the topic entirely. Stories like that make me cringe. I want everyone to feel genuine fatherly love. Like the love I felt from my dad, I’m just a little scared of God’s still.
Colombia Trip - Day 2
11/4
9:30pm
We woke up ridiculously early. Much earlier than needed, it was sometime between 5 and 6. We arrived at the church at 6:15…the rest didn’t arrive until 6:45. We worked hard, but through much typical conflict. Even on the mission field you find churches whose wheels have burned a hole into the soil they are trying to move from. No matter how fast you spin the wheels, you can’t seem to get free.
When we were on our pastoral retreat a few weeks back the same kind of thing happened. John was trying to pull the van out of the parking lot and he decided to drive through the land-owners grass. Little did he know that it was VERY muddy. He thought it was bright to keep hitting the gas, and the wheels spun and spun like a kid on a merry-go-round, and they too hummed with thrill and excitement. Finally, he asked for help. A couple of us loaded up on the back and pushed the van free…we drove away muddy, but we drove away.
All that to be said, we encountered this with how we were going to set up the auditorium. Apparently it was a big deal that it faced East/West instead of North/South, I don’t know if it is some kind of ancient Colombian dance ritual, or just pastoral preference, but eventually our arrogant American logic won out and we got our way.
I am finding more and more that the rest of the world is carrying much emotional baggage in regards to the USA. First off, as clarified by our host missionary tonight, he was born in Colombia, but he too is American…South American. Who are we to have claimed elite use of the term? However, there is this ere of pride that each of us walk around with that can’t be removed and can’t even be camouflaged as ignorant tourism. Of course, that is every person that has been touched by the effects of sin. But once again I am curious, how would Jesus rectify almost 250 years of arrogance that has bursted from the American borders? Were the people of Israel considered arrogant? I know that the religious were, and Jesus did all that he could to distance himself from them. It seems that it is through that idea of intra-personal validation that one American can breach the long, gnarled arms of the American stereo-type.
Nonetheless, we provided enough valid reason to set it up the way we wanted to. Not exactly the way we wanted it to happen, but there were Colombians that were happy with us. It seems that even in the healthiest of settings, there is still some kind of hold preventing the progression of the church. If its music, pews, stage placement or any other of a plethora of options, too much of evangelicalism has become steeped in tradition. “We can’t put the screens there!” “Why did you set up rows of 10, I specifically said 8?!” For some reason we firmly believe deep in our psyche that once all of the methodology has finally been perfected the Spirit will enter and work. How have we come so far from what the early church described to us as church?
Later on in the evening I was able to sit down at the table and get my laptop out, hoping to do some journaling. As I kept attempting to open up my journal this annoying Colombian named Emilio kept asking me personal questions. “How many brothers do you have?” “Does your brother know Jesus?”…Apparently my sharp, quick-witted responses didn’t suffice his need to be validated by Jesus Christ through me, imagine that, me not giving enough time to someone. Finally, mainly out of frustration, I shut my laptop and began to answer his questions. Something strange happened, the room seemed to focus around us, almost embracing us, and although it was always him and I in the room, the intimacy grew to an uncomfortable level. We began talking about the American church, and all of it’s troubles. We then began talking about his conversion and strong desire to see his catholic family come to Christ. What an earnest love for the message of Jesus did this man have! Something amazing was happening, the spirit of Jesus Christ incarnate was flowing between the two of us and completely surrounding us as we shared truths from scripture and from our lives uplifting each others souls so as to provide strength to continue on in this faith.
What’s really interesting, is that we didn’t care where the chairs were, or what direction we were facing, where we put the baptismal, or if the guitar was too loud…what we wanted to know was the Spirit of Christ that was found in one another. I felt validated by Emilio. And he by me. And that’s how you get the wheels moving.
9:30pm
We woke up ridiculously early. Much earlier than needed, it was sometime between 5 and 6. We arrived at the church at 6:15…the rest didn’t arrive until 6:45. We worked hard, but through much typical conflict. Even on the mission field you find churches whose wheels have burned a hole into the soil they are trying to move from. No matter how fast you spin the wheels, you can’t seem to get free.
When we were on our pastoral retreat a few weeks back the same kind of thing happened. John was trying to pull the van out of the parking lot and he decided to drive through the land-owners grass. Little did he know that it was VERY muddy. He thought it was bright to keep hitting the gas, and the wheels spun and spun like a kid on a merry-go-round, and they too hummed with thrill and excitement. Finally, he asked for help. A couple of us loaded up on the back and pushed the van free…we drove away muddy, but we drove away.
All that to be said, we encountered this with how we were going to set up the auditorium. Apparently it was a big deal that it faced East/West instead of North/South, I don’t know if it is some kind of ancient Colombian dance ritual, or just pastoral preference, but eventually our arrogant American logic won out and we got our way.
I am finding more and more that the rest of the world is carrying much emotional baggage in regards to the USA. First off, as clarified by our host missionary tonight, he was born in Colombia, but he too is American…South American. Who are we to have claimed elite use of the term? However, there is this ere of pride that each of us walk around with that can’t be removed and can’t even be camouflaged as ignorant tourism. Of course, that is every person that has been touched by the effects of sin. But once again I am curious, how would Jesus rectify almost 250 years of arrogance that has bursted from the American borders? Were the people of Israel considered arrogant? I know that the religious were, and Jesus did all that he could to distance himself from them. It seems that it is through that idea of intra-personal validation that one American can breach the long, gnarled arms of the American stereo-type.
Nonetheless, we provided enough valid reason to set it up the way we wanted to. Not exactly the way we wanted it to happen, but there were Colombians that were happy with us. It seems that even in the healthiest of settings, there is still some kind of hold preventing the progression of the church. If its music, pews, stage placement or any other of a plethora of options, too much of evangelicalism has become steeped in tradition. “We can’t put the screens there!” “Why did you set up rows of 10, I specifically said 8?!” For some reason we firmly believe deep in our psyche that once all of the methodology has finally been perfected the Spirit will enter and work. How have we come so far from what the early church described to us as church?
Later on in the evening I was able to sit down at the table and get my laptop out, hoping to do some journaling. As I kept attempting to open up my journal this annoying Colombian named Emilio kept asking me personal questions. “How many brothers do you have?” “Does your brother know Jesus?”…Apparently my sharp, quick-witted responses didn’t suffice his need to be validated by Jesus Christ through me, imagine that, me not giving enough time to someone. Finally, mainly out of frustration, I shut my laptop and began to answer his questions. Something strange happened, the room seemed to focus around us, almost embracing us, and although it was always him and I in the room, the intimacy grew to an uncomfortable level. We began talking about the American church, and all of it’s troubles. We then began talking about his conversion and strong desire to see his catholic family come to Christ. What an earnest love for the message of Jesus did this man have! Something amazing was happening, the spirit of Jesus Christ incarnate was flowing between the two of us and completely surrounding us as we shared truths from scripture and from our lives uplifting each others souls so as to provide strength to continue on in this faith.
What’s really interesting, is that we didn’t care where the chairs were, or what direction we were facing, where we put the baptismal, or if the guitar was too loud…what we wanted to know was the Spirit of Christ that was found in one another. I felt validated by Emilio. And he by me. And that’s how you get the wheels moving.
Colombia Trip - Day 1
11/3
10:15am
We arrived at the airport this morning in Chicago. Made it to the “self-service” check-in, which is a phenomenal invention for the impatient movement of modern-day America. Irony whipped its tail at us as the boarding pass printer couldn’t spit out our stubs quick enough. There are probably no more arrogant American terms than “self-service”. However, the unplanned stop provided for conversation with those around us. We were able to exhibit patience with Kimberly, the desk worker. And a lady pegged us as doing missions work. We didn’t have any special “Jesus words” that were being shared together. Apparently three touristy looking men carrying drum heads and laptops screams mission work. Security was uneventful, and we are still waiting to take off.
All the while I am feeling like I have spent every flying opportunity that I have trying to figure out what it means to be Jesus in these situations. Will people just know? Should I talk to the guy next to me? But, what if he’s using the entire armrest!?! I mean if I truly possess the spirit of Jesus incarnate in my body, shouldn’t that change the way I view the people around me. All talking, eating their Burrito Beach, or reading their magazines…shouldn’t they know that there is more to this? I mean, I am flying to Colombia to tell people about Jesus, what is wrong with Gate K5, don’t they deserve it too? Who am I to tell them though, I don’t understand it. I don’t get praying, or why Jesus did what he did or said what he said. And the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t even begin to explain what he does, or where he is. So what could I honestly bring? I am progressively realizing, though, that everyone of us has the same questions, but very few are actually willing to ask them. Instead of actually believing we convince ourselves that we believe, which is belief in an entirely lesser being, our own logic. Back to Gate K5 though, I am sure they have questions…how do I get them to ask? Do I ask first? Because here is the problem, Colombia comes and goes…but I find myself in a different Gate K5 everyday. I can be Jesus in Colombia, I mean I am white so I already stand out. I guess all I can consistently do is pray, with all of my ignorance in the topic itself. God, help me to be Jesus at Gate K5. The funny thing is, God doesn’t want anything else. In prayer I rely solely on Him. Anything else is lesser. Anything else is self-service.
4:25
We arrived in Miami. It was a fairly uneventful flight, aside from the woman that I caught after she tripped over my foot. We walked what seemed like across the country to reach our terminal, but lo and behold, we arrived. One more flight, 3 hours, and we will be in Colombia.
I have been thinking more about this whole “what about the Gate K5 people?” and I think that I am coming to a conclusion. Each individual’s spiritual influence has less to do with the people they reach, and more to do with how they handle the interactions provided to them. I mean if we are honest, tracts, 4 spiritual laws, and personal evangelism as we know it is unattractive and quite frankly repulsive to the average individual. And the bottom line is that no one person is going to revolutionize the world. Thought still processing…to be continued.
A guy named Michael came into my office a few weeks back searching for “genuine community”. He was 33 years old, long, slick black hair, and an untrimmed beard. He wore a faded, dirty v-neck t-shirt, and rustic, khaki corduroys. He had been kicked out of his apartment the week before and had broken off all ties with friends and family. To this day I don’t know if by genuine community he meant $20 for lunch, or a legitimate friendship, however it was the latter that I attempted to offer Him. We bumped into each other fairly regularly over the course of the next couple of weeks, all the while trying to establish the kind of trust he had dismissed as “nearly impossible to create quickly”. Frustration, impatience, anger…all emotions that were present every time that he showed up at the church. If he had been searching for genuine community, I didn’t show it to him.
6:00
Michael affected me that day. Immediately my ideologies of church had been turned upside-down. Some guy, came in from outside of the church and wanted to experience what people in the church should be experiencing. I’ve experienced the kind of community he was describing, but it wasn’t in the church. Everything in Michael’s life screamed “YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT”. And where should he find validation?
It is my opinion that I am important, I am validated because I am valued and loved by God. It is the relationship that I have with God that speaks meaning into my soul, that allows me to wake up, free of the hedonism that inflates the arrogance of our culture, and it allows me to rise above the “self-serving” ethos I find myself in. And, if I am providing the spirit of Jesus incarnate, the second person of the trinity, I too should share in the validation process of those that are around me, freeing them to experience my relationship with Jesus, possibly beginning one of their own, all the while being truly known and experienced by another human being. In so doing, one breaks the hedonistic rituals of our society.
10:15am
We arrived at the airport this morning in Chicago. Made it to the “self-service” check-in, which is a phenomenal invention for the impatient movement of modern-day America. Irony whipped its tail at us as the boarding pass printer couldn’t spit out our stubs quick enough. There are probably no more arrogant American terms than “self-service”. However, the unplanned stop provided for conversation with those around us. We were able to exhibit patience with Kimberly, the desk worker. And a lady pegged us as doing missions work. We didn’t have any special “Jesus words” that were being shared together. Apparently three touristy looking men carrying drum heads and laptops screams mission work. Security was uneventful, and we are still waiting to take off.
All the while I am feeling like I have spent every flying opportunity that I have trying to figure out what it means to be Jesus in these situations. Will people just know? Should I talk to the guy next to me? But, what if he’s using the entire armrest!?! I mean if I truly possess the spirit of Jesus incarnate in my body, shouldn’t that change the way I view the people around me. All talking, eating their Burrito Beach, or reading their magazines…shouldn’t they know that there is more to this? I mean, I am flying to Colombia to tell people about Jesus, what is wrong with Gate K5, don’t they deserve it too? Who am I to tell them though, I don’t understand it. I don’t get praying, or why Jesus did what he did or said what he said. And the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t even begin to explain what he does, or where he is. So what could I honestly bring? I am progressively realizing, though, that everyone of us has the same questions, but very few are actually willing to ask them. Instead of actually believing we convince ourselves that we believe, which is belief in an entirely lesser being, our own logic. Back to Gate K5 though, I am sure they have questions…how do I get them to ask? Do I ask first? Because here is the problem, Colombia comes and goes…but I find myself in a different Gate K5 everyday. I can be Jesus in Colombia, I mean I am white so I already stand out. I guess all I can consistently do is pray, with all of my ignorance in the topic itself. God, help me to be Jesus at Gate K5. The funny thing is, God doesn’t want anything else. In prayer I rely solely on Him. Anything else is lesser. Anything else is self-service.
4:25
We arrived in Miami. It was a fairly uneventful flight, aside from the woman that I caught after she tripped over my foot. We walked what seemed like across the country to reach our terminal, but lo and behold, we arrived. One more flight, 3 hours, and we will be in Colombia.
I have been thinking more about this whole “what about the Gate K5 people?” and I think that I am coming to a conclusion. Each individual’s spiritual influence has less to do with the people they reach, and more to do with how they handle the interactions provided to them. I mean if we are honest, tracts, 4 spiritual laws, and personal evangelism as we know it is unattractive and quite frankly repulsive to the average individual. And the bottom line is that no one person is going to revolutionize the world. Thought still processing…to be continued.
A guy named Michael came into my office a few weeks back searching for “genuine community”. He was 33 years old, long, slick black hair, and an untrimmed beard. He wore a faded, dirty v-neck t-shirt, and rustic, khaki corduroys. He had been kicked out of his apartment the week before and had broken off all ties with friends and family. To this day I don’t know if by genuine community he meant $20 for lunch, or a legitimate friendship, however it was the latter that I attempted to offer Him. We bumped into each other fairly regularly over the course of the next couple of weeks, all the while trying to establish the kind of trust he had dismissed as “nearly impossible to create quickly”. Frustration, impatience, anger…all emotions that were present every time that he showed up at the church. If he had been searching for genuine community, I didn’t show it to him.
6:00
Michael affected me that day. Immediately my ideologies of church had been turned upside-down. Some guy, came in from outside of the church and wanted to experience what people in the church should be experiencing. I’ve experienced the kind of community he was describing, but it wasn’t in the church. Everything in Michael’s life screamed “YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT”. And where should he find validation?
It is my opinion that I am important, I am validated because I am valued and loved by God. It is the relationship that I have with God that speaks meaning into my soul, that allows me to wake up, free of the hedonism that inflates the arrogance of our culture, and it allows me to rise above the “self-serving” ethos I find myself in. And, if I am providing the spirit of Jesus incarnate, the second person of the trinity, I too should share in the validation process of those that are around me, freeing them to experience my relationship with Jesus, possibly beginning one of their own, all the while being truly known and experienced by another human being. In so doing, one breaks the hedonistic rituals of our society.
reckless::abandonment
I was reading in Matthew 8 the other day. A guy comes up to Jesus and says, I want to follow you, but my father just died so I must bury him. Jesus replies "Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead." That's what this blog is about.
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